Ah, love…the butterflies in your stomach, waiting for the phone to ring, the anticipation of seeing each other again, etc. “The Honeymoon Phase”, as they call it, can last weeks, months, or rarely (VERY rarely), years. Sadly, the older I get, the more cynical I become. I’ve been knee-deep in BS more times than I care to remember so these days, it’s less about words and more about actions – as it SHOULD BE.
But what happens when even the ACTIONS are no longer cutting it? I tell ya, for ME, it seems virtually impossible to find a guy in my own zip code, much less my own STATE or even on the same COAST who intrigues me enough to give him a second look. Floridians, or at least the “men” (more like lazy adolescents with no ambition trapped in grown men’s bodies) who LIVE there, aren’t exactly the best conversationalists. The ones who ARE typically have a harem of other women on speed dial so naturally I’m extremely wary. That leaves me with the guys who live out-of-state and/or across the country: the dreaded “long distance relationship”. I tried it ONCE. It was a dream. A lovely (and expensive) dream that after almost 2 years, ended as a nightmare. It crippled me. I’ve never been so shattered. Needless to say, that was ALL I needed to swear off EVER going down that path again, and yet, here I am. FOOL.
Lengthy conversations and text messages allow you to get to know someone in very limited ways. Face-to-face interaction is what truly shows you WHO a person is…what they’re made of…and by then you may have already discovered some things about them that rub you the wrong way. But relationships are about compromise. After all, NOBODY’S PERFECT. It all comes down to whether or not these irritants are things you can live with or will eventually have you in a padded room donning a straight-jacket.
After nearly two years alone, I finally have someone very special in my life. He’s a perfect gentleman. He’s kind, honest, affectionate, hard-working, and very generous. Most women would think “So what’s the problem?” Refer to the last sentence, two paragraphs up. But he’s absolutely convinced it can work, and as long as he understands the circumstances I’m in (basically that I’m a starving, full-time student) who am I to fight it?
Our time together is wonderful! A total sugar rush – a cotton candy high. We have so much in common, it’s hard to find anything to fight about…except when we’re apart, and then there’s PLENTY: 2,500 miles worth! It’s then that the all too familiar heartache sets in and I wonder how long I can continue this facade? Or could this actually be the real deal? Stay tuned…